What do you want out of life? Really think about it.
I want good memories, happening while listening to good music, with good friends. I want pictures taken. I want to smile when I say “remember when”. I want to swim in the ocean and explore the forest and go to places I have never been. I want to find Canadas little nooks and crannys I will probably never see again. I want to meet kindred spirits and make memories with them too, even if they are fleeting. Its better if they are fleeting actually, then there is no time for the ugliness. I want to be surprised by other peoples kindness and I want to surprise people with mine. I want to waste ten minutes of my life trying to see how close I can get to a squirrel or a bird or a deer or a fucking armadillo, who cares! Its wild and free! It hasnt been trained to come to you and it will get a nice little treat made of corn and horse hooves and formaldehyde or whatever the fuck. I want my relationship with Eric to always be fresh and new and cycling. I want to take a chance on anything that could be better, or fun, or adventurous. I want to stand up for myself and my friends even though it makes me more unlikable than it does likable. Im a weirdo creep hippy, I get it. I dont think menstrual cycles are a beautiful thing or that my being is in harmony with the spirits, but I can get pretty granola when Im talking about nature and opening your eyes and living your life. Most people are so westernized and brainwashed that they probably think Im batshit insane when I try to explain to them how INCREDIBLE it is to be in the ocean and do you understand how SMALL you are and do you understand what you are MISSING.
What I dont want is to live in a forever bubble of routine. I dont want to be in a relationship that is going nowhere, pretending its great when in reality its total shit and you are both miserable but cant leave. Im not going to sit in my house with the highlight of my week being having enough money to do ____ which in reality is almost just as mundane as sitting at home. I dont want to avoid things that scare or worry me. I dont want to sit around what-iffing the rest of my life because before you fucking know it you have wasted YEARS on shitty people and shitty situations or worse – being a shitty person yourself.
The positive reactions far outweigh the negative ones we have received. None of our friends have felt the need to interrogate us. Our friends have been getting a lot of shit lately. What I dont get is these people who are not in such a pretty place themselves losing their shit over our decisions. I get it – you’re happy and safe in your little box. Or maybe you’re feeling jealous. Or maybe you’re wondering who will do this and that for you when we all leave. There are plenty of times I would have liked to say “is it really such a good idea to ______”, but, and here is a novel concept, its not my place. Its your life man. Sometimes your friends need a little wake up call but mostly, you just shut the fuck up and shake your head from afar. By all means, have a problem with our decision to go, but have the same courtesy to understand that its not your place to harass and act like a crazy person. “omg you are a horrible person and a bad parent and i hate your guts and you will die cold and alone in a ditch if you dare leave sussex new brunswick which is the only safe and prosperous city in the whole world did i mention what a piece of shit you are never talk to me again but WHY DO YOU WANT TO LEAVE ME I DONT GET IT. ” Whoa. Or that we are going to get mugged and have to sell our souls or WORSE! all our holes just to get by…..ummm…..we arent travelling a third world country on the back of a donkey. We are still going to be in good ole’ industrialized Canada.
I just want to leave, I hate waiting! I almost feel bad for the haters who will be stewing in their little boxes waiting for us all to fail so they dont look like jealous little psychopaths (psst too late). Meanwhile we will be rubbing elbows with armadillos and jumping in lakes and standing on cliffs and meeting people who are of like minds and find the magical thing they call an “economy”.
A great, intelligent prophet once said “You do you, and Ill do me”. Wait that was Lil Wayne. You get the point.